Thursday, April 15, 2010

Phoenix


As a child, I grew up where neglect, abuse, hate, fear, loneliness, poverty, mental illness and addiction were normal to me, and part of my everyday life. My parents, who should have protected me from the evils and dangers of the world, were the ones exposing me to them. I was scared and alone.

I was a talented little girl. I could sing, act, dance, and draw but I was wasting away under the tyranny of my parents. The ones, who were supposed to be supporting me, and helping me achieve my dreams, were the ones holding me back from every good thing I tried to create for myself. Their abuse and neglect had caged me in, and burned me alive. I sang out in a beautiful song as my ashes fell to the ground.

I was dead for two years. I had been swallowed alive by my pain, and all that remained were ruins of a painful life that used to be. My soul wandered the Earth, searching for truth, faith, love, life, and all the answer to why I had gone through all I had. I knew that I was special, and made for something great, my whole life, but my parents had been taking that hope and faith away from me each time they laid a hand on me. My death had given me a chance to heal, and my faith gave me wings. Once I had found out what truly matters, and healed from my past, I rose from the dead. I ascended from my ashes and flew away – free!

I am now a phoenix. I have a free spirit, and determination to succeed. I have feathers of every colour, and a tail of gold and scarlet. I now have a new unique perspective. I fly over the pain and drama of life. I can see what really matters and I grab on to those things.

Everything happens for a reason. I wouldn’t be the magnificent creature I am today, without the pain of the past, and the values it taught me. No matter how successful I feel, I will always be humbled by my past. It can’t hurt or touch me anymore, because I am not who I used to be. I have evolved past it. The first 20 years of my life were lessons; the next 20 years will be blessings.
My yesterdays were burned by Phoenix fire

Yet in the death’s ash, embers of hope remain

New dreams given birth in despair

Covered with ash, I mourn what was

To remember what will be no more

Then like the Phoenix I’ll rise

With renewed passion glowing red, yellow, orange

Ash will give way to flame

Like the Phoenix I’ll soar again

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